Thursday, January 24, 2008

Heath Ledger died yesterday. Oh, I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised anymore when a young, good-looking, up-and-coming star finds a way to kill himself. Owen Wilson tried, and failed. Kurt Cobain tried and succeeded. The surprising thing is the speed at which the denials starting flowing. “It wasn’t suicide. It was an accidental overdose.”

OK, I have sleeping pills around my house. I have a LOT of prescription medications, primarily allergy medications, but some Advil PM and some Nyquil and some cough syrup. I KNOW what the prescribed dosages are. There ain’t no way I’m taking 5x or 10x the prescribed dosage. In fact, any time someone takes more pills than are recommended, you can make a reasonable argument that they must not care about their health.

An adult can’t “accidentally overdose”. It’s a conscious choice. He CHOSE to take those drugs. He CHOSE to possibly drink alcohol with those drugs. Ledger fans seem to want to glorify his passing, like it’s some kind of tragedy that a self-indulgent, rich, pampered actor killed himself. It’s not a tragedy.

He. Killed. Himself.

The simple reality is that this doesn’t change my life (or probably your life) one iota. If it does change your life, that says more about your life than it does about Heath Ledger’s death. At the most, it almost guarantees that “The Dark Knight” will be the top summer film. At the least, it just adds 72 points to someone’s Celebrity Death Pool.

Focus on your own life, people.

Friday, January 18, 2008

No need to watch debates

I love stuff like this. By answering a series of fourteen questions on political hot topics and weighing them, you'll get your top candidate spit out for you.

Not surprisingly, my top six selections were Republicans with the moderates up top.


On the opposite end, my political Luthor is Chris Dodd.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Some random thoughts as 2008 is already 1/24 gone…

o Not sure if the rest of the country has been privy to the breathless newscasts and frequent updates regarding the rampaging tiger at the San Francisco Zoo. Now, one of the two brothers who managed to avoid a bloody death is being charged with a drunken assault crime from months ago.

OK, let me guess this straight… Three guys are attacked by a tiger who had to leap a moat, scale a fence, and kill/maul all three of them. Mind you, NOBODY ELSE in the whole freaking zoo was attacked… just these three clowns. One of them has a history of acting up while drunk, the cops found empty vodka bottles in their car, and they had wrist rockets in their possession. And their ambulance chasing legal team is claiming that the attack was unprovoked? Uh, I think the tiger was DSAF. I’m just sorry the cops shot the tiger before he could finish off the other two.

o I hate the political primary season. Why should I give a rat’s ass what a bunch of corn farmers in Iowa think? Why should I give a rat’s ass what a bunch of autoworkers in Michigan think? The most amusing part of the entire exercise is that the liberals are insisting on placing two unelectable candidates onto their ticket. Even putting one of these two onto the ticket as VP would torpedo any chances for the White House. The concept of electibility seems to escape the Democrats…

o Quick question for those of you with kids… If your kids got into trouble for picking fights, and are grounded and aren’t supposed to leave the house, what do you think will happen if you leave on a business trip?

OK, now what do you think will happen in Iraq if the United States pulls their troops out?

My plan (thank you for asking) would be for US troops to pull BACK, not out, and form a perimeter around Iraq. We tell Iraq (and the world) that we’ll stay the hell out of Iraq IF they conduct themselves like a nice, civilized society. If they start killing Kurds or raping/torturing citizens or developing WMD, we will send the troops right back in. That way, we still have the (relatively) high ground of standing up for civilized people while not playing the role of enemy occupying force.

o Enough with the freaking writers’ strike. It’s not like the WGA has a monopoly on creative ability. Frankly, I’m betting that most of them could be replaced tomorrow by equally talented writers from the internet and blogosphere who would be happy to be paid ANYTHING for their words. Geez, are you trying to tell me that someone who writes the dialogue for “Samantha Who” or “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” is an irreplaceable talent?

Anyway, one other fear of mine is the ESPN hype machine that will result from the Green Bay-New England Super Bowl matchup. Between sucking off Brett Favre and Tom Brady, the ESPN suits will be fuller than Rod Stewart's stomach contents. Here's hoping for a ratings-deflating, but intriguing San Diego-New York Giants upset special this weekend.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Time to review my incredibly UN-prescient football picks for the year…

Predicted (actual):

AFC East
New England 12-4 (16-0) – Yeah, well, if you have a posting from September 6 that has New England running the table, I’ll bow to your greatness. Otherwise, I think most predictions were around here.

Buffalo 8-8 (7-9) – I accurately predicted that Buffalo would step up this year, though I was off by a game. I also accurately predicted that New England would clinch early, though I don’t think that was exactly a difficult call.

New York Jets 5-11 (4-12) – Another pick off by just one game.

Miami 6-10 (1-15) – Come on, did YOU think they’d be this bad?

AFC North
Boy, did I screw this division up!

Cincinnati 10-6 (7-9) – I thought their potent offense would compensate for their WAC-level defense. I was wrong.

Baltimore 9-7 (5-11) – Yeeesh, not even close.

Pittsburgh 8-8 (10-6) – I thought they’d improve, but not that much. They’ll still lose in the first round.

Cleveland 4-12 (10-6) – Come on, did YOU think they’d be this good?

AFC South
Indianapolis 13-3 (13-3) – Bingo! Right on the nose! My prediction that Addai would reach 2000 yards was derailed by injuries and an early clinch of the division.

Houston 9-7 (8-8) – I predicted that Houston would be contending this year. I missed by one year.

Jacksonville 6-10 (11-5) – Wow, did I underestimate David Gerrard!

Tennessee 6-10 (10-6) – Be honest, did you know they had won that many games? The fact that they’re gonna get blasted by three touchdowns against San Diego will affirm the fact that they just don’t belong in the playoffs.

AFC West
San Diego 12-4 (11-5) – I bravely predicted that LT would catch more balls in Norv’s revamped offense. He skyrocketed from 56 catches in 2006 to a whopping 60 in 2007.

Denver 10-6 (7-9) – Jay Cutler played better, but the guy-from-nowhere-who-rushes-for-1000-yards magic that Mike Shanahan had is apparently inoperative.

Kansas City 6-10 (4-12)

Oakland 4-12 (4-12) – Second bingo of the AFC!

AFC Recap – Three of the four division winners correct, ZERO of the wild card teams. Also predicted a San Diego – Indy AFC Championship, which is impossible since they’ll meet in the second round.

NFC East
Dallas 11-5 (13-3) – Tony Romo blossomed this year, nailing both Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson, an impressive feat. If he talked them into a threesome, I’d have a new hero.

Philly 9-7 (8-8) – This one could’ve gone either way, depending on Donovan’s health.

New York Giants 7-9 (10-6) – I didn’t think Eli could hold it together well enough to make the playoffs. I was wrong, partially because I underestimated Brandon Jacobs.

Washington 6-10 (9-7) – I think I was right when I said that they have a lot of “almost good enough” talent. We’ll find out when they face Seattle in the loudest stadium in the NFL.

NFC North
Again, the North proves to be my kryptonite. I had no idea the Bears would fall so far, nor that Brett Favre would discover that playing Vicodin-free would be so fun.

Chicago 12-4 (7-9) – To be honest, the Bears were about as bad as I thought they would be. It’s just that the rest of the division was much, much better. I thought they had five or six slam-dunk wins in division and would go 6-4 or 7-3 against the rest of the league. Instead, they went 2-4 in division and 5-5 against everyone else.

Detroit 6-10 (7-9) – Just about right for them. I had some worries when they were 6-2 and contending for a playoff slot, but they proved to be every bit as bad as I thought.

Green Bay 6-10 (13-3) – Didn’t think the old fart had it in him.

Minnesota 4-12 (7-9) – Well, I did predict that Adrian Peterson would be a star, and the likely rookie of the year, but other than that…. Eh.

NFC South
New Orleans 11-5 (7-9) – The Deuce McAllister injury combined with a slow start killed this team.

Carolina 8-8 (7-9) – A team heading in the wrong direction. If not for the chaos in Atlanta, they’re gonna be in the cellar for years.

Atlanta 7-9 (4-12) – Unless they hire a top coach, this team will be a laughing stock for years. And it’s all Michael Vick’s fault.

Tampa Bay 5-11 (9-7) – Jeff Garcia is the football equivalent of Kenny Lofton, always in the playoffs, no matter the team. Well, if you ignore Cleveland and Detroit…

NFC West
Seattle 10-6 (10-6) – Bingo #3. Pretty safe to give them 10 wins a year in this division.

San Francisco 10-6, 7-9 if Gore gets hurt (5-11) – I forgot about mentioning what happens if Alex Smith gets hurt, and the 49ers are forced to use FOUR starting quarterbacks including retreads like Dilfer and Weinke.

St Louis 9-7 (3-13) – Wow, just wow. Would you think that a team with Stephen Jackson, Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce, and Marc Bulger could lose 13 games in the worst division in pro football? Well, try to name a player on their defense….

Arizona 7-9 (8-8) – About right.

NFC Recap
Two of the four division winners correct, ZERO of the wild card teams. Obviously, my NFC championship pick of New Orleans is way off base, but my second choice, Dallas, looks pretty strong for playing in February.