Monday, February 04, 2008

Everyone (or at least every sportswriter and blogger) has some sort of winner and loser list from the Super Bowl; the most obvious winner being Eli Manning and the most obvious loser being Tom Brady. But here are some other winners and losers that might not get the ESPN camera time:

Winner: David Tyree – Honestly, I’d never heard of the guy before yesterday, yet he came up with a touchdown catch (on a perfectly thrown slant by Eli) and one of the greatest jump-off-the-couch, how-the-hell-did-he-do-that catches in NFL history.

Loser: Jeremy Shockey – The trash-talking tattooed tight end (how’s that for alliteration?) wasn’t missed at all during this game with Tyree and Kevin Boss making the big catches that Shockey never seems to make. He might become trade bait to some team in search of a loudmouthed ass who picks fights, like the Raiders.

Winner: Wes Welker – My god, this guy is good. Making all kinds of catches over the middle, bubble screens, slants, you name it, he caught it. Should’ve been the MVP if the Patriots won, he took some vicious shots, got up, dusted himself off, and jogged back to the huddle. Just like a professional should.

Loser: Tiki Barber – For talking crap about Eli Manning before the season, for questioning the authority of Tom Coughlin for the last few seasons, for selling his soul to network analysis by burning his bridges with the Giants, Tiki proved himself to be a selfish malcontent (and lousy analyst), and possibly the reason for the Giants failures. Without the “star” running back, the Giants played cohesive team football and won the Super Bowl.

BIG LOSER: Junior Seau – This was to be the crowning moment of his career. The aging warrior, past his prime, trying to grab a Super Bowl ring in his swan song… he only had two more tackles than I did sitting on my couch eating pizza and Ruffles, and about as much impact on the game. Junior Seau, you are NO Hacksaw Reynolds.

Winner: Mike Carey – The referee of a well-officiated game shouldn’t be noticed. Aside from Carey’s dramatic pauses and emphatic arm motions, the entire crew did a great job. And on the 12-men on the punt replay challenge, most officiating crews allow a guy to run off the field as long as he’s not part of the play. Belichick just had the benefit of more cameras to see it. And how would history be different if Carey had a quick whistle when Eli was “in the grasp”? Good game, sir.

Loser: That internet firm with the racially insensitive ads – I don’t even remember who the company was, and I’m not going to give them publicity regardless, but they had some tacky animated ads with an Indian salesman sounding very Apu-ish and an Asian entrepreneur sounding very Miyagi-ish. Come on, people, if you’re gonna spend eleventy billion dollars to buy time at the Super Bowl, make ads that don’t piss off potential customers.

Winners: The 1972 Dolphins, the 1985 Bears, the 1989 49ers, the 1984 49ers – In order, the ONLY undefeated season, the most dominant defensive team in NFL history, the most dominant offensive team in NFL history, and the BEST overall team in NFL history. No more crap about this Patriots team, who already had the taint of Spygate hanging over their heads, being the greatest team ever. Oh, and the ’72 Dolphins are probably the worst Super Bowl champs ever, but that’s a subject for another day.

Losers: All those pompous Bostonians who were pumping up their town as Titletown – OK, we get it. The Red Sox won the series. The Patriots had a great season. The Celtics are leading the East. BIG DEAL. When they actually all WIN during the same year, we’ll give you props. Until then, shut your bandwagon hopping, Sam Adams-swilling pie holes.

Winner: House – I love that show.

Loser: Ben Roethlisberger – Whatever Fox paid him for the American Idol ad, it wasn’t enough.

Winner: Football fans – A great game doesn’t need to be 31-28 or have spectacular long plays. This was the equivalent of a 2-1 pitchers’ duel with both sides struggling against inspired defenses. A great game.


Post a Comment

<< Home