Some more quick hits from the nobody-asked-me file:

· This is my official legal declaration that if I should be declared brain-dead or in a “persistent vegetative state” by multiple doctors, you should pull my feeding tube immediately. Then, do what the Indian did to Jack Nicholson in “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”.

· And it’s none of my parents’ business. Nor should Congress give a rat’s ass about prolonging my life while hundreds are dying in Iraq and thousands are starving in the US.

· Hey, I came in third in a 100+ person Razz tournament on FTP (my first Razz tourney ever). I actually had the chip lead for a while before losing it with a made 8 to a rivered 7. I followed that up with a made 7 losing to a rivered 6. Oh well, I think I understand the mechanism of the bring-in and complete a little better now, and how to steal antes with relative impunity. Razz is too mechanical and slow for me, but it’s nice to add one more arrow to my online quiver.

· Now I’ve won money in tournaments for 7-stud, Razz, Limit Hold’Em, Pot Limit Hold’Em, No limit Hold’Em, and Omaha-8. Of course, that means I’ve also lost money in all of those types except Razz. I just need to cash in Stud-8 and Omaha-hi and my life will be complete.

· Three more days before I take my family on vacation. I’m totally short-timing it right now at work. Of course, it may or may not be especially intelligent to book a FAMILY vacation to Cancun at the end of Spring Break. Maybe this will give me a chance to teach my son about drunken coeds…

· Coaching Little League is tough. Getting 12 preteens to play baseball properly and act as a team is akin to training hummingbirds to fly in formation. The hardest part is the lack of parental assistance. Before I agreed to coach this year, I was always the “volunteer” parent/coach who would hit fungoes, warm up pitchers, throw the occasional BP, etc. Now that I’m coach, I’m still doing all that, and I have very little help from the other dads.

One dilemma I have is that the one dad who has volunteered to help out doesn’t know shit about baseball. Some of the kids have complained that he’s confusing them with his goofy advice on how to throw (“Point your toes downward to throw”), hit (“You need to have your elbow behind your head”), and field (sometimes re-positioning fielders that I have positioned), etc. I don’t want to discourage him since I need him to help organize the kids, but it’s a huge trade-off since he isn’t shy about sharing his warped view of how to play the game.

I’m a great believer in letting the kids play the game according to their own styles. I never believed there was one overriding method of hitting or throwing. So I won’t make a kid change his batting stance or throwing motion, though I might suggest adjustments. I’m more of the theory that consistency and repetition leads to mastery, so I’ll have him hit a gazillion balls with his batting stance until he knows exactly how to hit using his own way. Or I’ll have him throw a gazillion balls to develop consistency in arm slot and accuracy. Most of them have been playing baseball for six or seven years (Majors is 11 and 12 year olds) and two months of practice isn’t enough time to change someone’s fundamentals that have been ingrained.

So when we drafted players, we drafted players that already seemed to have good fundamentals, and could be developed (not re-molded). Other coaches picked big players, we picked small, smart, fundamentally sound players. So far, based on four or five scrimmages, we should be contending for the top spot in the league. We have the best defense in the league (by far) and strong pitching. We’ll be in a lot of 4-2, 3-1 games this year, which is more stressful for the fans and coach, but it’s better baseball than the 12-11 crap that most Little League teams feature.