Poker continues to be an enigma to me. A complete fucking mystery.

I am currently occupying the left side of the normal probability curve, losing consistently on 60-40 and 80-20 hands, leading me to believe that my success last year was more due to mathematical variation than skill. In other words, I’m still making the technically and mathematically correct plays, but the cards are laughing at the probabilities and smacking me around.

Part of the problem is that I play SnG’s, where the 20% of the time your AA or KK loses to JJ, TT, or 66, you’re out of the tournament. Twice last night, I got my money into the pot as a heavy favorite only to lose on the river. Two SnG buy-ins went bye-bye, along with my enthusiasm. I’m gonna switch to playing on the laptop to try and change my luck… and NO, I’m not superstitious.

After retiring from desktop poker play, I watched American Idol with wifey. I’m astounded that Scott is still around. After hearing about his checkered past , I can’t believe that any reasonable person would vote for him to represent American-anything. I’m convinced that fat, chauvinist wifebeaters are power-dialing his number every week to ensure that they have a representative in the show. By the way, does anyone else think that Scott is trying to channel Christopher Cross with his goatee and physique?

Oh, and Paula’s painkillers must have been wearing off by the end of the show, which is the only plausible explanation for her tears during Constantine’s dismissal. Listen Paula, no matter how sexy you think he is, Constantine is a mediocre vocalist, more showman than singer. He can still service you in the green room if you like, you washed-up hack. Having her as a judge of singing talent is like having Paris Hilton score your SATs.

The final three will likely be Carrie, Vonzell, and Bo, who have such wildly different target audiences that the final vote will be more a test of demographics than actual musical talent. They should just pick all three and let them release a triple-CD with Carrie singing country ballads (see Olivia Newton-John circa 1974), Vonzell re-releasing Donna Summer’s entire catalog, and Bo singing old CCR and Blood, Sweat, & Tears. Of course, this comes from a guy with Simon & Garfunkel, Steve Miller Band, Chicago, and Eagles CDs currently in his car...