Weekend Update

· PartyPoker = Good ROI, but bad poker. Seriously, it really delineates the trade-off of “getting better” and “winning”. All you guys who insist you’re trying to get better at poker and elevate your game… if you’re playing at Party, you’ll lying to yourself. The only reason to play Party is to take money from retards, plain and simple. It doesn’t make you smarter, but it makes you richer.

· OK, think back to every single Batman episode you’ve ever seen. At the end of episode A (of the two-parter), the Villain du jour has Batman at his mercy, but doesn’t just bust a cap between his pointed bat-ears or simply cut his bat-head off. Instead, the VDJ concocts some elaborate Rube Goldberg contraption that will kill Batman after some labyrinthine sequence. Sometimes I think PartyPoker is like Batman, and we’re the villains. Instead of wiping everyone out easily, we end up trying to come up with elaborate ways of doing it (FPS), and in doing so, we often allow the bat-fishes off the hook.

· Speaking of Batman, whatever happened to Yvonne Craig? For my money, probably the hottest body in sixties TV (her or Barbara Eden). Either that, or I like tight body suits and harem-girl scarves.

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· Umm, I’m positioning myself for a late run at WPBT POY. My thirty-mumble-mumble finish will lull the rest of you into a false sense of security. I hate PLO. I kept getting wonderful O-8 hands and had to dump them. I had AA dbl sooted thrice and never won with them. Stupid game. If there’s a Turbo NLHE WPBT event, I’m all over that one.

· Edgerrin James – thanks for proving that winning doesn’t really matter to you after all.

· Oh, and what’s up with the NCAA brackets?! San Jose State (6-23) got robbed again.

· And Tennessee is a #2? I think they think the women’s team is playing…

· Is there a blogger bracket game? I would’ve thought so, with so many inveterate gamblers. Count me in for up to $20 a bracket. It’s basically like winning a MTT with a bunch of coinflips that need to go your way.

· It snowed here yesterday. That might not be news to you East Coasters or Chicagoans, but snow at sea level is a once in a generation kind of thing around here.

· Of course, this was the weekend my wife decided that we would buy one of those outdoor basketball hoop setups. And guess who had to put it together while it was 40 degrees and raining? My fingers are still a little numb.

· The 49ers traded Brandon Lloyd. So what? Well, now it means that Alex Smith’s primary target is.. well, it’s…. Damn, I guess it’s no one.

· Poker Superstars III was on yesterday with The Magician, Cyndy Violette (looking MILF-ish while heavily made-up), Mimi Tran, Joe Hachem, and starring Jennifer Tilly’s breasts! I wanted Esfandiari to throw a chip down her cleavage just to see if she could find it.

· Got brutally sucked out to get 2nd in another 18-seater. Heads-up with the lead, I make a min-raise (baiting the hook) with ATo, opponent pushes, I call. He flips 52s (gee, a steal attempt?). Flop is Txx, turn is blank, river is blank. I’m (virtually) celebrating when I realize that he hit a runner-runner ten-high flush. Next hand I push with AK, he calls with Q9 and hits his Q. Sigh. Not a huge loss, especially since these SnGs are 40-30-20-10, but still an ugly way to lose.

· Booked a quickie family vacation for a couple of days of Spring Break; kayaking, horseback riding, swimming, etc. in Arizona. No B&M play for me. I’ve sworn off the stuff.

· Wasted way too much time this weekend watching "I love Toys" on VH1. If you haven't caught it, they're showing it, oh, every frickin' hour for the next month or so. Wil Wheaton is prominently featured as one of the commenters as VH1 attempts to rank the top 100 toys of all time. All of the rest of the VH1 usual suspects (Michael Ian Black, Gilbert Gottfried, and assorted comedians that you only know from VH1) are also tapped to riff on the crap that I grew up with. Ruining the suspense, #1 is the Hula Hoop with Barbie at #2, but a nice touch of nostalgia for me and a whole lot of "See, you ungrateful kids, this is the crap that I had to play with! No frickin' Nintendo, no frickin' Xbox, it was a fucking plastic HOOP!"

· On a side note, am I the only one who finds Rachael Harris extremely cute? I have NFI who she is, other than the fact that VH1 asks her to comment on the 80's and the 70's and toys and whatnot. I adore perky, witty e-List blondes, I guess.