Pre-Memorial Day ramblings

- Props to the American public for choosing Taylor Hicks over McPhee. Sure, I’d rather have her feeding me grapes while wearing nothing but one of my dress shirts, but the show isn’t “Feed Todd Grapes” (although there should be one… call my agent, stat!). Hicks definitely sang better on Tuesday. She’s been singing more and more like Crystal Gayle lately with the swooping notes and artificial country twang. Elliott will have a nice career opening for Harry Connick and Michael Buble while Daughtry will be fronting some rock band. Taylor will be playing nightclubs and county fairs in a couple of years, singing right next to Ruben and Fantasia, while McPhee will be on Skinemax playing a singer who will do anything to make it to the top.

- Speaking of McPhee, I just lurve it when women wear nothing but a men’s dress shirt. It just reeks of sex. Now, be honest guys, you’ve got that image in your head right now… McPhee tossing her hair back, wearing your shirt, and kneeling in front of… oh, you get the idea.

- Oh, hey, Party Poker just sent me even more free money yesterday, so I immediately threw into a SnG and placed. That’s the way to keep my business, guys!

- Is it my imagination or is the SnG traffic at FullTilt going down? SnGs are taking longer to fill and I’m not sure whether it’s due to ring games or tournaments. And did I mention that I suck at ring games?

- I’m part of a pilot group testing a new online baseball Sim at WhatIfSports. It called Hardball Dynasty and it’s horribly addictive. You control the entire machinations of a baseball organization, from Rookie ball all the way to the Majors. You budget payroll, scouting, medical staff, and coaching for all levels. You can set lineups, adjust pitching rotations, and develop players within your farm system. It takes a LOT of time (of course I would never dream of using company time to run spreadsheets of my minor league teams), and though it has some bugs, is tons of fun. Think of Madden football, but with minor leagues and real people running the other teams.

- My son’s team is rolling along in first place (12-2). He’s still batting leadoff, hovering around .375 with OBP of .480 and the starting shortstop. I know you don’t care, but it’s my blog.

- My daughter’s softball team is the equivalent of the Bad News Bears without the swearing. They can’t field, can’t hit, can’t pitch. It’s almost physically painful to watch them play. I feel bad because I can’t help the coach, who is genuinely nice guy, but doesn’t know how to teach or manage the game. He’s good at reassuring the girls and patting them on the back, but he rotates their positions and rarely has the right people at the right positions. I offered to help early in the year, but he said that they had plenty of coaches. None of them have the faintest idea what they’re doing. They all suck, but they’re out there helping.

- Democrats are beginning to eat their own out here in California. The gubernatorial (I love saying “gubernatorial”) primary features Phil Angelides and Steve Westley fighting for the right to take on the Governator in November, and they’ve already begun taking potshots at each other, ignoring the mesomorphic incumbent. Apparently, Angelides is a developer that rapes the land, and Westley is a crooked politician who takes money for political favors. Nice.

- Number of positive steroid tests for Barry Bonds = 0

- Number of people who insist Bonds is using steroids = 150,000,000