Friday, September 02, 2005

Here is the draft review for the blogger/reader fantasy football league organized by the Donk over at Yahoo. Most won't care, but oh well...

Apologies to those who are bloggers, but I don't have anyone's blog except for:
NutzInButz (Donkeypuncher)
Performify Pigskins (Performify)
[edit] Junk Kickers (Sound of a Suckout), Sorry Seth, I googled your name and didn't connect it to your blog, since you post under a different name.

Presumed readers are:
Modern Mongoloids (Johnny Flopboot, who has comments everywhere, but no blog)
West Canaan Coyotes
Nuc Plant Nipples
I'm No Ditka (cabrales21)

Round 1
1 L. Tomlinson The Junk Kickers
2 S. Alexander DeadMoney
3 P. Holmes Performify PIGSKINS
4 P. Manning West Canaan Coyotes
5 E. James NutzInButz
6 R. Moss Modern Mongoloids
7 C. Dillon BaxterIsThatYou
8 D. Culpepper Nuc Plant Nipples
9 W. McGahee Sooted Connectors
10 Baltimore D I'm No Ditka

I have the ninth pick and I’m thrilled to get McGahee. Yahoo leagues have QB-centric scoring (6 pts per TD pass), but if you’re not getting Peyton or Daunte, the next five or six are pretty comparable. The eyebrow raiser here is the Baltimore D, which was apparently an autodraft ranking. More on this later.

Round 2
11 J. Lewis I'm No Ditka
12 D. McAllister Sooted Connectors
13 T. Barber Nuc Plant Nipples
14 D. McNabb BaxterIsThatYou
15 D. Davis Modern Mongoloids
16 A. Green NutzInButz
17 J. Jones West Canaan Coyotes
18 K. Jones Performify PIGSKINS
19 C. Portis DeadMoney
20 M. Harrison The Junk Kickers

Deuce is almost a forced pick. I don’t have faith in the Jones boys to be top 12-worthy, so I take the safe pick. Also, when you have the ninth pick, the guy behind you is hugely important. You need to get a read on this person, like getting a read on the player to your right at the poker table. So now the guy has two Baltimore picks, so I’m guessing an AFC Central fan on autodraft. He apparently fiddled with the picks, but seems to be focused on getting some personal favorites rather than drafting to win. First read… done.

Round 3
21 S. Jackson The Junk Kickers
22 T. Owens DeadMoney
23 T. Gonzalez Performify PIGSKINS
24 R. Johnson West Canaan Coyotes
25 T. Holt NutzInButz
26 C. Martin Modern Mongoloids
27 L. Jordan BaxterIsThatYou
28 T. Bell Nuc Plant Nipples
29 C. Johnson Sooted Connectors
30 A. Vinatieri I'm No Ditka

EVERYONE in the league except for Ditka now has two RBs, meaning that most are drafting veterans and are following the standard script. Of course, the deviant is to my right and will befuddle me throughout the evening. I’m happy to get Chad Johnson here. In a typical 10-teamer, if each team has two RBs within three rounds, ten other players must be picked. And these are typically the top three QBs, top six WRs, and someone always takes Gonzo. With two RBs in the consensus top 10 and a WR in the consensus top 5, I’ve got a solid base for my team. The Vinatieri pick pegs Ditka as an autodrafter who put his top players by position, so now he has his #1 defense and his #1 kicker… and last place for the rest of the year.

Round 4
31 T. Green I'm No Ditka
32 R. Wayne Sooted Connectors
33 A. Gates Nuc Plant Nipples
34 D. Jackson BaxterIsThatYou
35 B. Favre Modern Mongoloids
36 J. Walker NutzInButz
37 J. Horn West Canaan Coyotes
38 M. Bulger Performify PIGSKINS
39 H. Ward DeadMoney
40 A. Johnson The Junk Kickers

A slew of choices here. I choose to follow my own advice and take another 1000-yd, 10-td receiver. Joe Horn was a possibility, but it’s never good to take the two top performers from a single team, especially if that team is the Saints. Of course, DP has two Packers now and I remind him of this on IM. I’m kinda hoping that Burleson makes it back to me, but DP tells me that we’s deciding between Andre Johnson and Burleson for his next pick, so I’m targeting elsewhere. I’ve seen Favre make some awful throws in the preseason, so I’m bearish on him and his receivers.

Round 5
41 A. Boldin The Junk Kickers
42 Mi. Clayton DeadMoney
43 N. Burleson Performify PIGSKINS
44 D. Bennett West Canaan Coyotes
45 C. Chambers NutzInButz
46 D. Driver Modern Mongoloids
47 L. Johnson BaxterIsThatYou
48 L. Coles Nuc Plant Nipples
49 J. Porter Sooted Connectors
50 B. Westbrook I'm No Ditka

A little early for LJ, but Ditka makes a nice autopick here. Chris Chambers was last seen in Canton lobbying for Marino to return. With eight WRs going in this round, the run has officially begun to fill the three WR slots. I was waffling between Porter, Steve Smith, and Isaac Bruce. I went young, although I’m not thrilled with two #2 receivers in my starting lineup. Of course, they’ll be the two most productive #2’s in football, but still.

Round 6
51 J. Witten I'm No Ditka
52 S. Smith Sooted Connectors
53 M. Muhammad Nuc Plant Nipples
54 J. Shockey BaxterIsThatYou
55 E. Moulds Modern Mongoloids
56 K. Collins NutzInButz
57 I. Bruce West Canaan Coyotes
58 Ro. Williams Performify PIGSKINS
59 A. Brooks DeadMoney
60 D. Foster The Junk Kickers

I get Smith anyway. Ditka now has filled in my last three slots (TE, K, Def) by the sixth round. Nice. DP’s pick of Collins starts a nice banter about drunkenness in the draft room. My four receivers have different bye weeks, so I’m pretty well set there. I have two good RBs and four good WRs, and I’m liking my team.

Round 7
61 M. Vick The Junk Kickers
62 Buffalo DeadMoney
63 Ji. Smith Performify PIGSKINS
64 A. Crumpler West Canaan Coyotes
65 L. Fitzgerald NutzInButz
66 T. Heap Modern Mongoloids
67 A. Lelie BaxterIsThatYou
68 D. Mason Nuc Plant Nipples
69 C. Williams Sooted Connectors
70 L. Evans I'm No Ditka

Time for a flyer on the Cadillac. I wanted Heap here, but Cadillac is a Hubie Brown special here (“I see nothing but upside”) Now that Crumpler and Heap are gone, the TE pickings are razor thin, so I’m passing them off till the end.

Round 8
71 E. Kennison I'm No Ditka
72 T. Brady Sooted Connectors
73 D. Akers Nuc Plant Nipples
74 B. Stokley BaxterIsThatYou
75 J. Elam Modern Mongoloids
76 F. Taylor NutzInButz
77 M. Stover West Canaan Coyotes
78 J. Arrington Performify PIGSKINS
79 D. Staley DeadMoney
80 C. Benson The Junk Kickers

Sigh, I might as well take a QB now before others start picking their backups. Did you notice that Ditka’s last two picks are Lee Evans and Eddie Kennison? I’ve given up trying to guess along with him. For some reasons, a mini-run on kickers starts along with a mini-run on rookie RBs. Two nice value picks in Taylor (always good for five or six games of good production) and JJ Arrington, the darling of rookie sleeper picks.

Round 9
81 R. Droughns The Junk Kickers
82 J. Wiggins DeadMoney
83 D. Branch Performify PIGSKINS
84 Atlanta West Canaan Coyotes
85 S. Moss NutzInButz
86 New England Modern Mongoloids
87 M. Bennett BaxterIsThatYou
88 Tampa Bay Nuc Plant Nipples
89 K. Barlow Sooted Connectors
90 Ro. Smith I'm No Ditka

I told DP that no 49ers were draftable this year. And I was right. Not sure why I took Barlow here. I must not have been paying attention. Still, he has a chance to fill in during some bye weeks. Otherwise, he has the best chance of being a bait-and-switch pick. These are guys that might have a very good game early in the year that you can trade for someone with a slow start. While he’s busy crashing back down to 10 carry, 32 yard weeks, you can be waiting for the slow starter to ramp into full production. Happens every year. Oops, maybe I shouldn’t be revealing that… oh, wtf.

Round 10
91 C. Brown I'm No Ditka
92 B. Franks Sooted Connectors
93 D. Brees Nuc Plant Nipples
94 K. Colbert BaxterIsThatYou
95 M. Hasselbeck Modern Mongoloids
96 C. Palmer NutzInButz
97 J. Plummer West Canaan Coyotes
98 Philadelphia Performify PIGSKINS
99 P. Burress DeadMoney
100 J. Delhomme The Junk Kickers

Ah, my starting lineup is now full. Bubba will go back to being the goalline choice of Favre this year, especially at what they’re paying him. I’m expecting eight TDs from him. I also stunned DP by predicting that he would either take Palmer or Delhomme here. I’d say I have a read on him. This gives him the AA poster boys at QB (Collins/Palmer).

Round 11
101 R. McMichael The Junk Kickers
102 M. Vanderjagt DeadMoney
103 Ke. Johnson Performify PIGSKINS
104 W. Dunn West Canaan Coyotes
105 R. Williams NutzInButz
106 R. Brown Modern Mongoloids
107 M. Anderson BaxterIsThatYou
108 J. Bettis Nuc Plant Nipples
109 C. Pennington Sooted Connectors
110 S. McNair I'm No Ditka
Round 12
111 T. Houshmandzadeh I'm No Ditka
112 C. Rogers Sooted Connectors
113 E. Johnson Nuc Plant Nipples
114 D. Bledsoe BaxterIsThatYou
115 D. Givens Modern Mongoloids
116 Da. Clark NutzInButz
117 J. Galloway West Canaan Coyotes
118 T. Duckett Performify PIGSKINS
119 B. Leftwich DeadMoney
120 K. Robinson The Junk Kickers
Round 13
121 D. Stallworth The Junk Kickers
122 M. Faulk DeadMoney
123 B. Griese Performify PIGSKINS
124 R. Caldwell West Canaan Coyotes
125 S. Janikowski NutzInButz
126 K. McCardell Modern Mongoloids
127 J. Wilkins BaxterIsThatYou
128 D. Patten Nuc Plant Nipples
129 Washington Sooted Connectors
130 M. Robinson I'm No Ditka
Round 14
131 S. Graham I'm No Ditka
132 R. Longwell Sooted Connectors
133 S. Parker Nuc Plant Nipples
134 Chicago BaxterIsThatYou
135 D. Graham Modern Mongoloids
136 Pittsburgh NutzInButz
137 L. Smith West Canaan Coyotes
138 L. Tynes Performify PIGSKINS
139 J. McCareins DeadMoney
140 J. Brown The Junk Kickers
Round 15
141 Indianapolis The Junk Kickers
142 J. Putzier DeadMoney
143 H. Miller Performify PIGSKINS
144 J. Reed West Canaan Coyotes
145 T. Jones NutzInButz
146 J. Hanson Modern Mongoloids
147 T. Williamson BaxterIsThatYou
148 J. Carney Nuc Plant Nipples
149 Carolina Sooted Connectors
150 F. Jones I'm No Ditka

Nothing special here, except the DP somehow managed to snag Ricky (Pothead) and SeBas (roofies) to complete his police blotter of a team. If Lawrence Phillips was eligible, he would’ve taken him too.

My team should contend:
QB – Brady, Pennington
RB – McGahee, McCallister, Cadillac, Barlow
WR – Cjohnson, Wayne, Porter, SSmith, CRogers
TE – Franks
K - Longwell
D – Washington, Carolina (Note: I picked two defenses because Wash has an early bye in week three. I’ll probably drop them then and use that slot to cover TE and K byes)

Not to be callous or anything, but I hope Deuce can keep his focus and have a great year. This is the kind of team that will score 50-70 pts every week, but with no 100 pt blowouts. Hopefully, that’s enough to make the playoffs, but what the hell, it’s only $20.


At 8:18 AM, Blogger ScurvyDog said...

Junk Kickers = Sound of a Suckout


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