It’s Friday and around here, that can only mean one thing…

Another unproductive day.

Yay!

Empire Poker is offering a 100% bonus for 10x raked hands. I haven’t checked out all of the fine print on this one, but a few hours of $.5/1 O8 might justify the investment. 10x is a little severe though, and I need to see if partial payouts are possible.

Anyway, more WSOP replays last night, as well as another season of Celebrity Shithead Poker Suckout. OK, here’s a quiz for you guys. Which is the stupider move?

1. Folding pocket TT with a board of AJTx
2. Folding pocket TT with a board of 4445
3. Folding 65s with a board of A743 with 74 being your suit

The top two were in the WSOP, the third was by Charla from the Amazing Race. Phil commented, “I don’t think she knew she had the nuts.” No shit, Phil. Parenthetically, Charla is probably the cutest dwarf I’ve ever seen. I’m still puzzling over whether that makes me a sicko or not… But I’d do her, sober even.

Johnny Fairplay (I think he actually changed his name legally) proved himself to be a complete and utter asshole, as well as an incompetent poker player. One pay-per-view or Celebrity Boxing match that’s dying to be made would be Johnny Fairplay against Puck. Odds are that Puck would kill him, but the real winners would be the rest of the freakin’ world. Put it this way, even Foley was appalled. Celebrity poker has definitely jumped the shark… It remains to be seen whether this is a harbinger for real poker on TV.

Is it just me, or does the poor lighting and film quality of the WSOP satellites make it harder to watch? I thought ESPN was supposed to have better production values. It looks like it’s done on Super8 and transferred to Beta before the telecast. And we need to really petition ESPN to get rid of Chad. Clearly, he has NFI what he’s talking about, and the poker phenomenon has led to a more savvy audience, meaning that the average viewer has probably played more (and better) poker than the “expert commentator”. Chad offers NO insight, NO credibility, and NO humor. Let’s see him in a Celebrity Boxing match with Phil Hellmuth (undercard would be Annie Duke vs. Daniel Negreanu).

There’s still time to remove him from the WSOP main event broadcasts. Surely they can buy off some poker expert (like Pauly) to do voice-over work three months after the fact.

“Ooooh, Chan has position here and should raise.”
“Umm, Pauly, he has 72 offsuit. Isn’t that the worst possible starting hand?”
“Raising with the Hammer is positive EV here, Lon. The implied karma is greater than the folding equity. I was explaining that to a crack whore at the Redneck Riviera while I was laundering my only pair of underpants.”

Seriously, who would increase WSOP viewership more… Norman Chad or Pauly? The answer is clear.