Friday, December 02, 2005


Dumped two SnG buy-ins yesterday totaling $60, both times in fifth place, both times ending up shortstacked with AJ facing 55, both times coming up with empty boards. An interesting possibility of random number generators matching up seeds…

I’m wondering if my play might be suffering due to my job situation. I’m not consciously playing tighter, but I know I’m not making nearly as many positional plays or speculative plays as I used to, and I’m missing out on some relatively inexpensive jackpot flops. Frankly, the money in my poker accounts is, for all intents and purposes, discretionary cash --- just this side of a sunk cost. Maybe I should just pull up a chaise on the side of the poker wading pool and relax for a bit, because I sure as hell ain’t winning right now.

Football-wise, things aren’t much better. I’m in the playoff hunt in two of three leagues, but have been eliminated in the DP-run blogger/reader league. At least I’m ahead of Performify… In the only league that matters financially ($100/player), I’m tied for the final playoff berth with two weeks left. Winning that one will be tough since the DP is in first place with Carson Palmer and LT, but even pocket aces lose once in awhile.

Back to the NFL picks. As always, the predictions are for entertainment value only.

Falcons at Panthers –I predicted that if TO didn’t finish the year with the Iggles, the Panthers would rule the NFC. I’m sticking by that prediction. Look for the Panthers to literally HURT Michael Vick in this one. He still doesn’t know how to absorb a hit. Panthers 27-20, with a late TD drive by Schaub to make it close.

Bills at Dolphins – Remember when this used to be a glamour matchup? Kelly vs. Marino. Andre Reed vs. the Marks. Now it’s JP vs Gus. It’s become like the NFL Europe or the XFL. Remember my credo, when no one cares, it’s usually a good game. Buffalo wins amidst the boo-birds of South Florida, 24-21.

Bengals at Steelers – Ben is hurtin’ for certain. The only reason he’s playing is that Cowher has no faith in MadBat (the frightening hybrid of Maddox and Batch). Look for the Steelers to rush over thirty times. If the Bungles get up early, it could get ugly fast. I look for this to be the piss-on-the-hydrant game for Cincy where they stake out their territory as top dogs in the Central, 27-17.

Cowboys at Giants – God, I love this time of year with the divisional matchups. Two schizophrenic QBs, two megalomaniacal coaches, but only one great RB. Tiki wins this one for the Giants, 21-14.

Packers at Bears – Sigh. I keep waiting for some team to actually play well against the Bears. At some point, I’m gonna have to admit that they might have a great defense. Well, they still have a shitty offense. I’m gonna try and jinx them by picking them to goad the rotting corpse of Brett Favre into four turnovers and a 24-10 victory.

Texans at Ravens – Who else thinks the Texans have already printed up Reggie Bush jerseys for sale? They just hired Derek Bell as their motivational coach for their Operation Shutdown. Ravens 20-7.

Jags at Browns – David Garrard. Didn’t he play Buck Rogers with the yummy Erin Gray? Why does every team but the 49ers have a backup QB that comes off the bench and leads the team to a thrilling victory? The 49ers trot out Cody fucking Pickett to go one-for-seventeen. Anyway, Jags win because the Browns don’t care, 17-9.

Vikings at Lions – Oooh, Jeff Garcia vs. Brad Johnson. A rematch of the 2002 playoffs. Or is it 2003? Will the Lions win one for the Mooch, or go completely into the tank? Are the Vikings really in the playoff picture? No, yes, and no. Vikings 27-23.

Bucs at Aints – Who the hell woke up Chris Simms? He’s looking more like Boomer Esiason and less like Todd Marijuanavich every game. And the Aints ain’t trying. Cadillac re-emerges for 100+ yards. Bucs roll 30-21.

Titans at Colts – Trap game. The Colts will be overconfident and cocky and will consequently only win by 14. 31-17.

Cards at 49ers – Ahhhh, the game of the week. Alex Smith returns to the lineup in the NFL’s marquee matchup. Here’s a bold prediction, Alex Smith will rush for over 50 yards, and lead the 49ers to a thrilling 24-10 loss. But, oh, what a future.

Skins at Lambs – OK, so the kid went to Harvard. Big fucking deal. So the kid came off the bench and beat a team that would rather draft Reggie Bush than actually try in the second half. Big fucking deal. Look for a track meet, Skins win 34-30.

Broncos at Chiefs – You can’t polish a turd. He’s still Jake Plummer. Maybe he’s just waiting until the playoffs to melt down. Chiefs win, well, because they HAVE to. 27-24.

Jets at Pats – I think most of us thought that this would be the game where the Pats clinch the East. Not quite sure who is QBing for the Jets these days. Whatever happened to Glenn Foley? Eh, no matter, Pats roll up the stats in this one 30-7.

Raiders at Chargers – I frickin’ hate LT. He’s killed me this year in more FFL than anyone in any year. Every time I play against a team with LT, he blows up. Every. Single. Time. Dick. Now that I’m not playing against him, he’ll have a shitty game. The Bolts will still win, but LT is under 100 yds and only has one TD. 26-16.

Seahawks at Iggles – Weather might dictate this one. Good weather, the Seahawks win by 10. Bad weather, they win by 17. Make it either 31-14 or 31-21.


At 2:42 PM, Blogger Donkeypuncher said...

Please don't write about our other fantasy league. You might jinx me...

At 8:31 AM, Blogger Performify said...

Yeah, my team sucks pretty hard over there. Losing my #1 and #2 draft picks for most of the season will do that.

I thought I was in good shape to make the second tier playoffs, but now I've got to win next week against the first-place Junk Kickers AND have DeadMoney beat Ditka to regain eight place. This week's loss by a mere 1.5 points hurt bad.


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