How fun. I bubbled out of two SnGs last night, dropping $33. One was a horrific 2-outer that I played perfectly, but lost despite a heavily weighted coin in my favor. The other was more a case of misjudging the finish line and overbetting a flopped two pair. Both times, I probably would’ve sealed the deal if I had won the last pot.

In a $10+1 on Party with four players left and everyone pretty even, I pick up Hellmuths UTG and raise 3xBB. Pretty standard blind stealing raises had been the norm and both blinds decided to call. Flop was Qxx and both blinds checked to me. I dribbled out a 2xBB bet feigning weakness. The SB raised it up, BB folded, and I immediately pushed, putting the SB on a big Q. I was right and he called with his KQ. Naturally, the turn was a queen and IGHN. Moral victories are an oxymoron in poker. Victories are measured in dollars won, not in slick moves executed.

In a $20+2 on FTP with four players left and everyone pretty even, I have K3 in BB. Two limpers and I tap the virtual table to see a K73 flop, all clubs. I fire out a pot-sized bet, pricing out any flush draws. I get one caller, presumably on a straight and/or flush draw and not understanding pot odds OR with Kx. Turn is a red rag (ewww… that sounds gross). I figure if I check, I’m giving him a chance to draw on me free, so I push, trying to put him to the gutcheck if he’s really on a draw. Turns out he had JTc all along and my four-outer doesn’t come on the river and I’m bubbled again. Sigh.

I’m getting kinda reckless with my online money. It’s like it I’m playing with Monopoly money and I’m not financially or emotionally invested in the outcome anymore. Part of me already sees the money as a sunk cost, and whatever becomes of the $200 or so I have squirreled away in these poker sites is just gravy. Now, I know that attitude is necessary at some point (or you’ll play excessively tight), but even I’m surprised at my complacence. Losing to the two-outer in the SnG just merited a wry smile and a shake of the head. Last year, I would’ve gone apeshit and ranted and raved about the bad beat. Regardless of income level, dropping $20-50 (the payout structure for the $10 SnG) should be disturbing. It’s a dinner for four at Chili’s or a couple pairs of jeans or a credit card payment. I probably should be more upset. Maybe I’m getting jaded. Maybe I’m subconsciously satisfied with cashing out way ahead. Dropping $33 in a night should bother me more… but it doesn’t. Crap.

*** 913pm pacific time - Another bubble on FTP. I have KTo, he has Q9o, I push on a flop of K97. According to the calculator, it's 4-1 in my favor. Turn is a 9, river is a Q for a boat... for him. Fucking figures.