Friday, July 15, 2005

So we’re down to the final table… Mike the Mouth is the only BIG name there, maybe Andy Black to the more knowledgeable, but basically a group of pretty unrecognizable faces. No doubt ESPN is cranking up the UpCloseAndPersonal crapfest to “introduce” us to each one of the final nine. It’ll be interesting to see how deep they delve into the Mouth’s recent drug bust, especially if he wins the whole thing.

“Gee, look kids, you can sell be a drug courier AND win the main event at the WSOP. Now he has $7.5M to finance bigger and bigger drug deals! God Bless America!”

Coke dealers all over the country are catching flights to Vegas, lining up to start financing Matusow in future poker tournaments to launder their money. “Hey Mikey, howz about I front you the $10K entry fee, and you kick me $12K plus 20% if you cash. Oh, and if they ask, I sell aluminum siding.”

Raymer’s run was impressive, considering that every two-bit WSOP junkie was probably gunning for him this year. They could consider a “shooting star” promotion for the WSOP, and give a free entry next year to whoever busts out someone from the previous year’s final table.

So now they start out with blinds greater than my annual salary, and antes big enough to send my kids through college. $56M in chips around the table. It’s like a poker game at the Microsoft Board of Directors or the New York Yankee locker room. It’s ridiculous that the final pot will be in the neighborhood of the GNP of the Falkland Islands (It’s true. I looked it up here)

My bet to win it? Aaron Kanter. Why? I dunno, he’s from around here. Or at least a couple of hours away... Second choice is Tex. Never bet against someone named for the game you’re playing.


At 2:06 PM, Blogger Donkeypuncher said...

Tell the folks in the Falkland Islands to produce something of value. Fish, squid, and wool don't count.


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