Monday, September 26, 2005

Online Fantasy Football is rigged!

Online Fantasy Football is rigged!

How else do you explain Scurvy sucking out a 347298 point outburst from LaDanian Tomlinson to overcome my 347290 point lead?  I hate the New York Giant defense with the fury of ten thousand white hot suns.  Asstards can’t put eight men in the box against the top RB in football?  I hope Eli leads you guys to about a dozen straight 4-12 seasons.

Also got sucked out (on the bubble, no less) in my Sunday RiverStars SnG.  Five left, me and one other guy are low stacks.  I limp with ATo, planning to push if I pair or see undercards.  He min-raises from BB, and I push right there.  He flips A9o and I’m liking my play.  Axx with two hearts doesn’t worry me.  After all, he still needs a nine to take it down.  A heart on the turn makes me blink.  I check again.  Nope, no heart for me, but his nine is a heart.  Minutes after I see that LT ripped my team’s heart out, my poker life is extinguished with literally runner-runner-runner-runner hearts.  Not good times.

On the plus side, the BASEBALL Giants are still alive and kicking.  Four back with four games against the Padres, now the Giants need that same runner quad-fecta to tie for the division lead.  Clearly, if Barry had played even one more month, the Giants would have rolled this division easily.  I won’t get too thrilled unless they win the first two.  If they lose either today or tomorrow, put a fork in them.


Well, aside from the LT debacle, my football predictions for the weekend were almost spot-on.  

Let me start with the best:

Prediction: Pats 23, Steelers 20.  RIGHT ON THE MONEY, right down to the prediction that Vinatieri would win it late on a field goal.

Prediction: Eagles 27, Oakland 20.  Actual: 23-20.  Had the Eagles run one more play before the Akers game-winner, I would’ve nailed this one too.  

Prediction: Jax by 6.  RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

Prediction: Rams 31, Titans 24.  Actual: Rams 31-27.

Prediction: Seattle 30, Cards 19.  Actual: Seahawks 37-12.  Take one TD from the Seahawks and give it to the Cards.  Why?  So I can be right, that’s why.  Nailed the total points.

Prediction: LT right, LT left, LT in the end zone.  I threw up in my mouth just now.

Big Misses:

Out of the entire schedule yesterday, three clear whiffs.

1.Prediction: Big game for the Indy offense.  Actual: 13 measly points.  Thank God I didn’t have the second pick in any of my drafts.  I would’ve taken Manning in a heartbeat (Peyton, not Eli), and it looks like defenses have caught onto his playcalling histrionics.  On the other hand, who knew that adding Corey Simon to a mediocre defense would suddenly make them the freakin’ 85 Bears?

2. Prediction: Carolina has a bad game, but beats an AWFUL Dolphin team.  Actual: Carolina has an OK game, and the Dolphins look impressive and win a nail-biter.  Well, Steve Smith had a great game, and the Dolphins just didn’t do anything stupid.  But who woulda thunk the Fish would be in first place?

3. Prediction: Saints over the Vikings 34-21.  Actual: Ooops, almost completely bass-ackwards, Vikes 33-16.  Maybe it’s time to admit that all this hubbub is completely mucking up the Saints this year.  Pity will only get you to the opening kickoff, and then you better be ready to play.  Jim Haslett is precisely the WRONG person to have in charge right now.  They need more of a Sam Wyche or Steve Mariucci type to help them through this.


At 12:59 PM, Blogger ScurvyDog said...

Thankfully I have no qualms whatsoever about gladly acceping FFL suckouts.

I can't find an equivalent to a poker odds calculator, but that has to be pretty bad on the suckout scale. Despite the two quick TDs, I only really started paying attention when he threw for the TD, given how far I was down.

Thank Jebus dumbass Marty finally got the memo that, umm, maybe it'd be a good idea to give the ball to LT a bunch.

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