Friday, December 09, 2005

FFL Bubble time

Well, this is it.  The last week of the FFL regular season.  The quest to make the final table in Fantasy Football.  If you’re already in the playoffs, congratulations, and if you have a lot of Indianapolis Colts, you should be hoping that they beat Jacksonville this week.  If Indy loses (unlikely) , they’ll still have homefield clinched throughout the playoffs and will probably rest their starters [think penultimate pre-season game, about three quarters].  No more 100-yd games for Edge, no multiple TD games for Marvin or Reggie.  If Indy wins, they’ll be shooting for the brass ring for the rest of the year.

On a side note, I don’t have a problem with the ’72 Dolphins celebrating the defeat of the last unbeaten team every year.  After all, it’s the pinnacle of their sad, pathetic lives.  If they somehow get asterisked by the Colts, they won’t be known for ANYTHING, aside from being petty, arthritic old men.  I have a bigger problem with the networks showing the celebration every year.  I mean, do they televise the Bulls celebrating the last team to lose their 11th game?  Who the hell cares what Mercury Morris is doing, except his parole officer?

Besides, they weren’t the “best” team ever.  They only won 17 games.  Several teams since then have won 18.  The ’84 49ers, the ’85 Bears, hell, even the four-time loser Buffalo Bills would have rolled the Dolphins by two touchdowns each.  I’m rooting for the Colts to go undefeated just so we can send that entire team back to their rocking chairs and houseboats and get them the hell off my television.  They were more like the undefeated Nebraska or Oklahoma teams of the 70’s and 80’s, completely focused on the run and defense.  Solid, but not great.

[NOTE: I just simmed the games on and the ’84 49ers won FIVE straight at the Orange Bowl against the ’72 Dolphins]

On to this week….

Bears at Stillers – What’s the O/U for this game, ten?  I say Ben throws…  a lot.  If Nathan Vasher doesn’t score twice, the Bears don’t have a shot.  Stillers 20-9.

Browns at Bengals – Lost in the hullabaloo over the Reggie Bush Bowl (SF/Houston in week 17) is the Matt Leinart Sweepstakes.  The Browns are pushing for that one against the Jets.  Look for the Browns to lay down like the dogs they are…  28-12.

Texans at Titans – Tank tank tank.  That splashing sound you hear is the Texans flushing the season down the toilet and hoping to draft Reggie Bush, who’s calling up Eli Manning and John Elway for draft advice.  Also look for Pete Carroll to be offered the Texan head coaching job soon.  Titans will win, well, because the Texans don’t want to…  23-17.

Colts at Jags – 17-13.  Colts.

Pats at Bills – I just got a call from Bill Bellichick who wants me to play corner this week for the Pats.  Apparently, nobody else wants to get hurt.  Pats are just trying to get healthy and will get gouged for yardage by the suddenly pass-happy Bills.  Will they lose?  Probably not, but 24-21 sounds about right for good weather.  Bad weather will drop this one down to 17-14.

Raiders at Jets – Marques Tuiasosopo.  Yeah right.  This one will be the stinker of the week.  I predict 30 penalties.  Raiders prevail, but only because the Jets want Leinart or Bush.  20-17

Rams at Vikings – Strangely enough, this is the most compelling game for me.  The suddenly resurgent Vikings against the wildly inconsistent Lambs.  The loser of this game might as well book their family time in January.  And every time I predict a shootout, the game is low-scoring… so I’ll try it just one more time.  31-27 Vikings.

Bucs at Panthers – John Fox is building towards the playoffs and shooting for the #2 seed.  The Bucs are still relying on Chris Simms [scary thought] and defense, so they’re relatively easy to gameplan against.  I’d bet Simms makes three turnovers and the Panthers capitalize big.  30-14.

Giants at Iggles – Ewww, the Iggles are bad bad bad.  Most teams are bad when they lose, oh, their top ten offensive players.  The Giants aren’t that good either, but they’ll do enough to beat down the Iggle fourth-stringers 20-10

49ers at Seahawks – Didn’t they just play?  Oh well, Seahawks win.  Ho-hum.  31-17.

Skins at Cards – God, the Cards stink.  It took a heroic effort by Anquan Boldin against some grade-school tackling to beat the Alex Smith-led 49ers.  Look for more points from the Skins, but not more from the Cards 24-17.

Ravens at Broncos – Ray Lewis is out for the year.  Kyle Boller on the road.  Broncos at home.  Add it up.  Do the math.  You’ll get Broncos 34-16.

Chiefs at Cowboys – On paper, the best matchup of the week, so it’ll be a dud.  The Chiefs step up and dominate a not-very-impressive Cowboy team.  Drew Bledsoe will hear the boo-birds leading the Cowboys to a 27-17 loss.

Fish at Bolts – Kellen Winslow.  Uwe von Schamman.  Dan Fouts.  Hook and trail with Tony Nathan.  Ahhh, the good old days.  Now it’s just LT right, LT left, LT in the end zone… at least twice.  28-17.

Lions at Packers – 21-14.  Who cares?

Aints at Falcons – A national tv audience might inspire the Aints to actually try.  Then again, probably not.  The Falcons will be in a must-win situation, and the Aints quit a long, long time ago.  23-20.


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