Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Midweek Blues

Y’know, whenever my discipline breaks down, I lose.  Period.  Instead of my normal one-per-night SnG routine, I played two yesterday.  I had the day off of work to attend to some family matters (they should write instruction books about putting a parent into a nursing home), got home around four, and promptly took third in an 18-seater (+$39).

Fine, nice profit, especially for less than a hour.  Call it a day, right?  Wrong.  I got bored in the evening and after watching House, promptly spit the bit (14th) in another SnG, slicing my profit in half.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  I think I just have the brain capacity for one SnG per night.  It’s vital to stay within one’s mental sweet spot for maximum profitability.

The Giants’ season is basically over now.  Brett Tomko proved to be the Atlee Hammaker or Salomon Torres of this generation by gagging up the biggest game of the year in ignominious fashion.  Staked to a three-run bomb by Barry, he promptly hemorrhaged three runs right back.  When the Giants came back for two more runs, he handed them right back.  Right then, Felipe should have pulled him from the game, broken his hands, and stuffed him in the wheel well of the team plane. But no, there was still more gagging to be seen.  JT Snow butchered a Buckner-esque ground ball just prior to a season-crushing grand salami from Ramon Freakin’ Hernandez.  Sickening.

Football blurbs-

  • Bills at Saints (kinda) – I’m declaring a boycott on predicting the Saints this year.  There is too much emotional baggage on them and they’re too damn up and down for anyone to predict.  Oh, but what the hell, 27-17 Saints.

  • Lions at Tampa Bay – We’ll see if the Cadillac bandwagon gets any bigger once the Lions bandwagon empties out.  We now will see the value of picking a great running back vs. picking three very good receivers in the first round.  24-20 Bucs, but the Lions make a late run.

  • Colts at Titans – Suppose I told you last year that you’d see some Manning for Carson Palmer trades in fantasy football.  And I don’t mean Eli.  The Colt defense is the MVP this year, Steve McNair won’t finish this game.  27-10 Colts.

  • Chargers at Pats – Possible letdown game for the Pats after the Pittsburgh epic and Harrison injury.  Chargers are coming off a primetime massacre of the Gints.  Without Harrison to stack the line and shaky linebacker play, LT should catch ten balls.  Brady and Vinatieri are the two clutch-est players around.  Lots of scoring in this one, but it’ll be a late Dillon score that’ll win it…  34-27 Pats.

  • Broncos at Jags – Let’s see, blown out by the Dolphins, blow out the Chiefs.  Let’s just call the Broncos the craps roll team of this year.  Since they’re on the road this time, I’m betting they’re rolling snake eyes this time.  And Jimmy Smith has replaced Isaac Bruce as the “Is he still playing and catching 70 balls for 1000 yards” guy.  Jake will throw at least two picks.  Jags 23-13.

  • Texans at Bengals – Aha, a possible relaxation game for the Bengals.  A real test for Marvin to get his team up for an overmatched Texan team coming off a bye.  I’m staying on this horse until it throws me.  Bengals 31-10.

  • Seahawks at Redskins – Mike Holmgren should be learning the same lesson Marty Schottenheimer is learning.  If you have an elite RB, you run him.  Then you run him again.  Then you run him again.  Especially if your QB is Matt Hasslebeck.  And what’s with Joe Gibbs rolling out Counter Trey again?  Tough without the Hogs.  Seahawks 24-16.

  • Rams at Giants – Eff the Giants and their shitty defense.  If they hold LT to just two rushing TDs, I win my game.  If they hold him without a TD pass, I win.  If they just effing pay attention to the most productive RB in football the last two years, I win.  Eff them.  Rams 30-13.

  • J-E-T-S at Baltimore– No, this isn’t 1968.  No, this isn’t Namath against Unitas.  By adding the rotting corpse of Vinnie to this, it’s more like Namath of the Rams vs. Unitas of the Chargers.  The funny thing is that this game is a stinker on paper, but will probably be a close game, if only because both offenses are so inept.  16-13, give it to Stover.  Statistical prediction: Jamal Lewis will go over 100 yds, but it might take 30 carries.

  • Eagles at Chiefs – Interesting game.  The Chiefs at home against the banged-up Iggles.  All signs point to a high-scoring battle, so of course, I’m betting on a defensive struggle.  Eagles prevail, but barely as a last-minute drive comes up short.  20-16.

  • Cowboys at Raiders – Remember when these used to be the two glamour teams of the NFL?  Neither do they.  By the way, what do you think Randy Moss is saying in meetings after watching the Cowboys’ secondary get torched by stiffs like Santana Moss and Brandon Lloyd?  Raiders get off the schneid, and do it BIG 37-21.

  • Vikings at Falcons – Culpepper vs. Vick.  Don’t you think these guys owe something to the James Harris’s and Joe Gilliam’s and Doug Williams’s that preceded them?  You NEVER hear crap about the “black QB” anymore.  Too bad Timmy Chang didn’t make it.  You would’ve seen a rush on Asian QBs…  Or not.  Forget the QBs for a second.  Mike Tice = Dead Man Walking.  Falcons 26-20.

  • 49ers vs. Cards – Seriously, does anyone care about this?  Were you even aware that they’re gonna play in Mexico?  Why wouldn’t they just move the Saints game down here instead?  23-17, Niners.  The big loser is anyone who watches it.

  • Packers at Panthers – I may skip this one entirely.  John Madden will have Brett Favre’s dick so deeply embedded in his mouth, we won’t understand a word.  “There’s Brett Fa-mmmmpph.  A sure Hall-of-mmmmpph.  Greatest passer I’ve ever mmppph.  Toughest mmmpph”  They’re both washed-up hacks.  24-13 Panthers, but don’t discount the possibility of Favre throwing a fourth-quarter pick that can extend the final mmmm-mmph.









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